Let’s Go to the Laboratory to Find Out

You and a professor of psychiatry walk into a lab and see two naked men sitting in straight-back chairs, wearing nothing but embarrassed smiles on their faces. Th e professor mercifully throws each a blanket while explaining your assignment for the day.
“Th ese two gentlemen,” he informs you, “both work in a multinational corporation. One is the CEO. He has a loving family, faithful employees, and adoring friends. He has enough money to enjoy life, care for everyone he loves, and even donate generously to charity.“Th e other,” he continues, “cleans fl oors at the company. He, too, is a good and honest man. However, this fellow has a string of failed relationships and few friends, and he has trouble making ends meet.
“You, my dear student, are to determine which is which.” You look at the two men quizzically. Th ere doesn’t seem to be much diff erence between them. They look to be about the

same age, of comparable weight, similar complexions, and, ifit can be determined by looks, equal intelligence. Th e professor walks toward the men and lifts the bottoms of the blankets, revealing four bare feet. “Is this a hint?” he asks you. “Uh, no,” you respond, bewildered by his insinuation that it might be.
He then pulls the blanket up higher to reveal their knees and thighs. Walking back to you, he asks, “Is this a hint?”
Now you are more befuddled. You shake your head no. As the professor returns to the blankets, you close your eyes and fear the worst. Th en, you haltingly open them. You and the gentlemen under the blankets breathe a sigh of relief. Th e professor has merely revealed their heads and upper torsos. He strokes his goatee, looks at you piercingly, asking the same question with his eyes. You look at one man, then the other, then back at the fi rst. Neither would make the cut for a Cosmo centerfold, but you would classify both as handsome. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell who has which job,” you respond. Th e professor is not surprised. He continues, “What if I were to tell you that both men were born into families of the same socioeconomic status, grew up in the same neighborhood, played together as children, went to the same schools, and tested similarly on an IQ test?”

What Determines Social and Professional Success?

For all the hair styling, shoe shining, suit buying, and personality projecting we do, we never really know why some people succeed in life and others don’t. Some highly successful and beloved people are shy. Others are boisterous. Some big winners in life are sophisticated. Others are simple. Many introverts are esteemed, while some extroverts are shunned. And, unless you are auditioning to host the Academy Awards, your personality and looks are not the keys to becoming beloved and successful in life. So what is the key? Will this book help you fi nd out? Let me tell you what this book will do—and what it will not do—and then you decide. I do not guarantee you will soon be chatting comfortably with a commodities broker about crude oil futures. Nor do I assure deep discourse with a doctor of philosophy on his dissertation. What I do pledge, however, is that you will be able to meet people confi dently, converse comfortably, and quickly connect with everyone you
encounter.
You have probably already discovered the invisible personal and professional glass ceiling constructed solidly over your 

head, my head, and everybody else’s head. Th is book will help you craft a weapon to smash this invidious enemy by mastering communication subtleties you may have never even known existed. And, of course, it will also tell you how to avoid saying and doing those “dumb little things” that make people disconnect from you thereby losing their potential business, friendship, or love.You will also learn how to give them an extraordinary gift, the gift of self-esteem. Th is is something that, sadly, people seldom consider when dealing with others.